Good, better, best …
THIS might just change your life.
I heard these words spoken once and never forgot them - in fact I frequently quote them.
Here is why…
Write down 10 times in your life you were at your absolute BEST? Any area of your life. Any age.
If you took 10 seconds to write 10, make your list 20 (and if that is still easy - up it in 10’s until it’s difficult to get to that last one)
In case you want a list of areas:
Career/Health/Fitness/Parenthood/Being a Partner/Being a Sibling/Being a daughter or Son/ Studying/Having Integrity/Being Responsible/Being adventurous … literally anything in any area
Give me 10 times you were GOOD (or whatever multiple you got to with BEST).
Let’s just say that good enough is a place where things are maintaining and not deteriorating. You aren’t getting fired but you aren’t going over and above.
It is subjective, what constitutes as GOOD and we aren’t trying to create a mutual agreement on what good enough is other than right now in this exercise for the purpose of the exercise please use the term GOOD to mean it is enough effort to remain in a place where we are stable and not in a state of deterioration. Things in that area are working and maintaining at your minimum expected standard.
And finally, here is the hardest one to feel out (that is why things like this are better when you are face to face but let’s work with what we have because that is the good,better, best theory in action - best - work with a coach one to one so it’s personalised, better - have a single one to one session to help with blind spots and then back to self coaching or join a group session, good - reading books/listening to podcasts/asking wise friends who are invested in your growth not your comfort). When were you doing BETTER than good? Try and think of 10 times when in any area of your life you were doing BETTER than good and not your ultimate level BEST.
Caveat - if at this point GOOD, BETTER, BEST feels like a Disney movie and you (like one of my genius child just reminded me when I did it with them - ‘the problem with your theory mum, is this is subjective’, yes, I had already realised that but I was allowing my subjectivity persuade me that GOOD, BETTER, BEST had the scope to cover the subjectivity range. Then clarification was offered when they continue with ‘you see my life feels like it is either BEST, BETTER or SLIDING DOWN a mountain at high speed - good doesn’t feel relatable’ . If you also measure your growth and contribution in this way then that too is essential information and in gaining that information I would say the most helpful thing about that is to start to look for the other levels every day, write them down, record them, journal about this and see if you can identify - good, better, best as well as sliding down a mountain.
Humans are distort and delete creatures, our experience is always subjective. If we are experiencing our lives as all of this and none of that then we can be almost certain our brains are deleting and distorting the information that they deem less needed. Writing helps to reflect and broaden the perspective so that we can see we also are GOOD, BETTER, BEST operators.
Why does this matter? Here is why.
For the next few days, I want you to notice the BETTER - when you put a little extra effort in. I want you to notice your efforts - that is it.
I want you to know you BETTER and in knowing you in a more objective way you can come back to who you really are and what you really contribute to the world around you. To your world.
We are not trying to be perfect, we are just looking to grow but if we don’t know where we are - how can we know where we want to get to or how far we have to go? And what if we never set the game up properly and then we keep changing the rules? Clarity is key. In my experience of working with people, I have never helped anyone gain clarity that lead to them seeing their efforts as less than they expected. People always, in my experience, find that they are already putting in the effort but using any extra energy to beat themselves up for not being at 100 percent. This acts as a. an energy drain b. a blockage on growth, gratitude and contribution.
It has been my experience and the experience of the people I have worked with that when we can get more accurate at seeing who we are and what we contribute, we can experience more joy, gratitude and hope in our lives everyday.
Sarah x