What Growth Feels Like

Here’s the thing…

I’m going to use a metaphor to describe life, because I can’t quite part with this metaphorical way of experiencing it.

The past and the future don’t actually exist anywhere except in our minds.

In my very Western brain, the past sits behind me and the future stretches out in front. Life feels like climbing a mountain - challenging, demanding and somehow deeply rewarding. Each challenge feels like an opportunity for growth.

Which naturally raises the question: growth into what?

That’s a question we could write many books about. For now, it’s enough that we ask it.

Another question worth sitting with is: what is growth for? Rather than answering it, let’s place this alongside it:

Six Human Needs

• Certainty & Uncertainty

• Significance & Connection

• Growth & Contribution

Growth is something we all need. And when it’s missing we tend to feel it - stagnation, a feeling of being stuck, a sense of going nowhere and sometimes even failure.

So how do you know what growth feels like?

Try this.

Think of a time when you felt like you were really growing. Picture it clearly. Place yourself back in that moment. Notice what you felt in your body.

Now think of another time - a period when you were developing, moving forward, heading somewhere with intention. See what you saw. Feel what you felt.

Do this again. And again. Until you begin to notice a pattern.

Now pause, put a hand on your heart and close your eyes.

Where does the sensation of growth live for you?
Your chest? Your stomach? Your shoulders? Your head?

This is one way of stepping into the mental space where memory lives, allowing your body to respond and listening to the feedback it offers about who you are and how you grow.

You might be wondering how this connects to language.

Neuro Linguistic Programming - often shortened to NLP - is something many people are familiar with. I spent five years studying language at university and what it means to be a conscious being, who can reflect on their own existence through language.

Our thoughts are largely made of words. And when we start to recognise the patterns in that language - the beliefs and assumptions hidden inside it - we gain access to better questions.

One of my favourite quotes from Tony Robbins is:

“The quality of your life is determined by the quality of your emotions, and the quality of your emotions is determined by the quality of your questions.”

I would add this:
The questions we ask are shaped by our patterns of thinking and behaviour - and those patterns are rooted in belief.

What we do or don’t do.
What we say or don’t say.
What we think or don’t think.

Over time, these form identity.

For example: I’m a non-smoker, so I don’t buy cigarettes.

Or this: I see myself as fit and strong, so I’ll happily hike a mountain in the Lake District. But I don’t identify as an elite athlete, so I would never sign up to hike to Everest Base Camp.

Even if someone offered to train and support me, I’d still say no - not because it’s impossible, but because it sits outside how I know myself.

And this brings us back to growth.

What beliefs do you hold about growth - and about how accessible it is to you?
Where do you sense your limits?

Those limits mark the edge of an invisible bubble - the space your identity currently occupies. When you approach its boundary, discomfort often appears.

That discomfort is informative.

Have a look! See what you find.

I’m excited for you to explore what growth truly means for you - and to discover what’s courageous, alive and quietly brilliant about who you are becoming.

Sarah x