When in a relationship is the best time to choose coaching?

When? This is for you and your partner to decide.

There are no ‘right’ or ‘wrong’ times to try relational coaching, but there are a few things that may help you determine whether now is the time for you.

At the start of a relationship, communication may be going well. Both individuals are experiencing a high level of satisfaction and there are no identified problems. But one or both of them may have had coaching before and already understand the impact it can have. This couple might choose coaching to ensure there are no blind spots. They have a guide who can objectively help them ask questions that unlock even deeper connection.

This is a progressive and intelligent option. Statistics show that couples who choose premarital counselling have a 30% lower chance of divorce. A further 60–80% report better communication, conflict management, and overall relationship quality.*

Most couples choose coaching when the relationship feels strained and satisfaction levels have dropped. Often, this is a point where it feels as though any one of a hundred reasons has led to that strain and frustration. Ultimately wherever you are does not feel good. At this stage, communication has become less effective - or even completely ineffective. The frustration often comes from two people desperately trying to have the other see the world through their eyes.

“If my partner could only see what I see, then this conflict would disappear - because they would understand me.”

My job is to help show that each person is right from their perspective, and that together we can build bridges of understanding. We can renew and deepen connection.

Whatever point in the relationship you are at, whatever the relationship has been through, coaching creates a space where everything you need to share can be heard and considered.

As world-renowned relational therapist Esther Perel says:

“The quality of our relationships determines the quality of our lives.”

This is no small thing. This is your life - because our relationships (especially your most important ones) are your life.

The question we started with was:

When is the best time?

I would say yesterday. Last year. The start of your relationship. Even before you started a relationship. But the next best time is now.

And I will say one last thing - it’s crazy to me that we will spend our money on things that we ‘need’ that aren’t essentials, yet investing in ourselves or our relationship can feel like a luxury. If the quality of our life is determined by the quality of our relationships, is there anything more needed than taking care of that area?

For me, investing here is the best ROI we can ever have. There is no statistic backing me up on this, only personal experience and professional opinion.

Sarah x

*Worldmetrics – Premarital Counselling Statistics: Market Data Report 2025.